What is Co-Dependence?
- I feel good about who I am because others like me or approve of what I do.
- When another person is struggling, I become upset and focus most of my attention on solving your problems, or relieving your pain.
- I focus on pleasing others.
- I focus on protecting others.
- I focus on manipulating others to do it my way.
- My self esteem increases when I solve others' problems.
- I set aside my own interests and spend my time sharing others' interests instead.
- I live my life the way others want me to live, without regard to how I feel or what my needs are.
- I'm not aware of how I feel. but am only aware of how others feel.
- The dreams I have for the future are linked to others.
- I use giving as a way of feeling safe in a relationship.
- My fear of anger or rejection determines what I say or do.
- I put my values aside in order to connect with others.
- I value others opinions and way of doing things more than mine.
Symptoms of Co-Dependency
- Difficulty identifying and expressing feelings.
- Difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships.
- Low self esteem.
- Profound sense of shame, anxiety and guilt.
- Constant need for approval.
- Compulsive need to rescue, caretake, and control
- Feeling overly responsible for the action of others.
- Lack of confidence in making decisions
- Addicted to excitement
- Fear of anger or criticism
What Does Co-Dependency Result In?
- Inability to know what normal behavior is.
- Difficulty in following a project through.
- Difficulty knowing how to have fun.
- Judging self and low self esteem.
- Difficulty in developing and sustaining meaningful relationships
- Over-reacting to change.
- Constantly seeking approval
- Feeling different
- Feeling of inadequacy
If several of the above statements describe how you are feeling, you may be suffering from co-dependency. Two excellent books that can help you are: